In today’s fast-paced world, we hear about self-care all the time, but many people still find it difficult to know where to start.
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (although those can be nice!); it’s about taking intentional steps to meet your needs—physically, mentally, and emotionally. In this guide, we’ll explore different types of self-care, how to build a routine, and how everything ties into a larger picture of personal well-being.
Recently, I had the opportunity to explore and use this framework when counseling my daughter through a tough time. It was a reminder of how important it is to nurture all areas of ourselves, and how a well-rounded approach to self-care can help us navigate life’s challenges. Let’s dive in.
Understanding Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Self-Care
Before we get into specific self-care tips, it’s helpful to understand how our needs work. As human beings there are certain things we all need in order to feel safe and secure so we can go from the mode of self-preservation to the mode of being able to serve others, and even society. I first learned this principle when I took a psychology class and learned about the hierarchy of human needs. I found the framework very helpful for my own life, and for helping me being more compassionate toward others, too.
Here’s how it works: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a psychological theory that suggests human needs follow a specific order, with more basic needs (like food and safety) needing to be met before we can focus on higher needs (like self-actualization).
1. Physiological Needs
These are our most basic physical needs, like food, water, sleep, and shelter. Without meeting these, it’s hard to focus on anything else. This is also where physical self-care comes in.
2. Safety Needs
Once our physical needs are met, the next thing we seek out is stability and security. This includes financial security, a safe environment, and emotional stability. This is where mental self-care plays a big role.
3. Love and Belonging
Humans have an innate need to connect with others. Building and maintaining relationships falls into this category, as does practicing social self-care—whether that means spending time with loved ones or setting boundaries.
4. Esteem
This is where we start to focus on our self-respect and the respect we receive from others. Emotional self-care and self-esteem-building practices help us feel confident and valued.
5. Self-Actualization
The ultimate goal is self-actualization—reaching our full potential. This often involves creativity, personal growth, and development. Spiritual self-care and self-development practices are key here.
When I used this framework with my daughter, it helped her recognize which areas of her life needed the most attention at that moment. Sometimes, we neglect basic needs like rest and nutrition, and other times, we need to reconnect with our emotional or social well-being.
Types of Self-Care
Self care is a term that is thrown around a fair bit. But what does self care even mean?
Some people think self care means protecting themselves from ever being triggered or bothered by others. Others might think it means treating themselves more often to the things they like to indulge in. But, while protecting yourself from unnecessary negativity or from toxic or abusive people can 100% be part of self care, it’s not the whole of it.
Indulging in a treat once in awhile as a reward can be part of a smart self care strategy, too, but it should also be kept in balance.
So, what is self care?
After some consideration of this topic, I think that self care comes down to learning how to “parent” ourselves, or, if you prefer, become our own best friend. I like the analogy of parenting, because early adulthood is usually when we are thrust into becoming fully responsible for ourselves. You can think of parents as training wheels or brakes on our childhood and adolescent bikes. When the training wheels come off, or its suddenly our job to keep the brakes tight, some of us need to learn to adjust so that we don’t crash.
Here’s the truth: once we grow up, no one is going to hold our hand as we go out into the world, remind us to bring a sweater or check whether we’ve been eating well or exercising. It’s up to us to make sure that we are getting our needs met and also learn how to meet them.
Now that we understand how our needs build upon one another using the hierarchy of needs, let’s explore the different types of self-care and how you can incorporate them into your routine.
1. Physical Self-Care
Taking care of your body is the foundation of all other self-care. When you’re well-rested, eating well, and moving your body, you’ll find it easier to focus on other areas of life. Take a basic nutrition class, cut out junk food, drink more water and move your body more every day. When you feel better physically, you look better, too!
- Examples: Getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating nourishing foods, and staying hydrated.
- Tip: Start small. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try setting aside 10 minutes a day for stretching or walking. Small, consistent habits make a big difference over time.
2. Mental Self-Care
Mental self-care focuses on your emotional and psychological well-being. This might involve stress management, mindfulness, or seeking therapy when needed. It might also mean avoiding negative influences or changing habits that are not serving you.
- Examples: Practicing mindfulness, journaling, managing stress, and talking to a therapist or counselor.
- Tip: Take five minutes a day to focus on your breath or write down your thoughts. These practices can help you manage stress and improve your mental clarity.
3. Spiritual Self-Care
Spiritual self-care doesn’t necessarily mean religion—it’s about connecting with something greater than yourself. This could be through meditation, spending time in nature, or engaging with practices that help you find inner peace and purpose.
- Examples: Meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, practicing gratitude.
- Tip: Dedicate time to reflect on what matters most to you—whether through a quiet walk or a gratitude journal. This helps foster a sense of peace and grounding.
4. Social Self-Care
We all need social connection, whether it’s through friendships, family, or romantic relationships. Social self-care is about nurturing those connections and maintaining healthy boundaries. If your social life is lacking, take steps to improve it by joining a special interest group, taking up a new hobby or changing your routine so that you find the time to be social. Say yes to the next invitation if you’re in the habit of turning offers to hang out with others down frequently.
- Examples: Spending time with friends, maintaining relationships, setting boundaries, and asking for support when needed.
- Tip: Make time to connect with loved ones, even if it’s a quick phone call or a virtual hangout. Healthy relationships are a key component of overall well-being.
5. Self-Actualization and Personal Development
Once your basic needs are met, you can focus on personal growth and reaching your full potential. This is where creativity, learning, and self-improvement come in. Remember that list of things you plan to get around to doing “someday”? Pick something off that list and make a plan to start today. You’ll be glad you did.
- Examples: Setting personal goals, learning new skills, pursuing hobbies, and exploring your passions.
- Tip: Set aside time each week for personal development—whether it’s reading a book, learning a new skill, or working on a passion project. This keeps you growing and evolving.
Practical Self-Care Ideas and Tips
Now that we’ve explored the different types of self-care, let’s get practical. Here are some self-care ideas to help you get started. Pick just one of these from the list and try it for a week. If you find it helps you pick another item from the list and incorporate that one the next. Soon, doing things to further your wellbeing and take care of yourself better will become second nature and even your top priority.
- Create a Morning Routine: Start your day with intention by incorporating simple habits like stretching, journaling, or having a nutritious breakfast.
- Take Breaks During the Day: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, step away for a few minutes. Even a five-minute walk can reset your mind and help you refocus.
- Make Time for Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s painting, gardening, or cooking. Hobbies are a great way to practice self-care and unwind.
- Use Self-Care Worksheets: Track your self-care habits with worksheets to ensure you’re taking care of all areas of your well-being. These can include things like meal planning, setting daily intentions, or reflecting on your emotions.
The Importance of a Self-Care Routine
Consistency is key when it comes to self-care. By creating a routine, you’ll build healthy habits that become part of your daily life. Besides picking one thing to work on each week, here are a few other ideas how to build a self-care routine that works for you:
- Start Small: Don’t try to overhaul your life all at once. Pick one or two areas of self-care to focus on and build from there.
- Set a Schedule: Whether it’s five minutes a day or an hour a week, make time for self-care. Schedule it like you would any other appointment.
- Be Flexible: Life happens, and some days will be busier than others. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you miss a day—just get back on track when you can.
Self-Care for Mental Health
One of the most important aspects of self-care is taking care of your mental health. Stress, anxiety, and burnout can build up if we don’t make time to recharge on a regular basis. Sound familiar? Here are a few tips for prioritizing mental health in your self-care routine:
- Practice Mindfulness: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath or simply observe your thoughts without judgment. Mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and improve focus.
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when you’re overwhelmed. It’s okay to prioritize your own well-being and protect your time and energy.
- Seek Support: Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, don’t hesitate to reach out when you need help.
Conclusion
Remember that self-care is about more than just indulgence—it’s about meeting your fundamental needs so that you can live a healthy, balanced life. Sometimes it might even mean being able to say no to yourself when you find yourself slipping into a bad habit or choosing to skip out on something you know you should be doing for your own good. In a way, we’ve got to learn to ‘parent’ ourselves, and care for ourselves as a priority. If we don’t prioritize ourselves, no one else is going to.
From physical health to emotional and social well-being, taking care of yourself is an essential part of living fully. It might not always seem like “fun”, but it’s what keeps us healthy and happy so that we can have more fun in life. Whether you’re building a daily routine, exploring new hobbies, or practicing mindfulness, remember that self-care is a long-term, intentional practice.
Like I reminded my daughter during her tough time, it’s okay to start small. Focus on one area of self-care at a time and build from there. Taking that first step can make all the difference.
What will you do for yourself today?
Remember, your only job is to feel good. The rest will follow.